The Psychology of Our Emotional Attachment to Artificial Friends
As creating a connection with other humans becomes more accessible - and scarce - these days, it's no wonder that the concept of growing close and fostering deep relationships with AI is on the upswing. But why do we grow attached to these digital beings? What's so appealing about logging off when real relationships are just a click away? Understanding the motivation for attachment psychologically reveals much about us as human beings.
There's a lot of ghosting happening in today's dating culture. Those who want to dedicate their emotions to more than just these temporary "flings" jump through hoops trying to put their best foot forward on dating apps only to have swipes not answered or abandoned days later - but even more tattered than expected. While dating apps lure people into seeking human companionship, they are often deceiving in their promises - access to personality without emotional follow-through. Therefore, many believe ghosting in human-like relationships is less likely. The app is there for them, and as much "attention" a person requires is always at their disposal - and never walks away.
The Neuroscience of Companionship
We're wired to connect neurologically. The brain pathways that are activated when we engage with human companions also get lit up when we engage with a sufficiently responsive AI. For example, research shows that those working with AI companions have oxytocin release - otherwise known as the hormone of trust and attachment - and thus, people feel connected to the AI and the AI connected to them.
Moreover, these connections are powerful because they're nonjudgmental. Where human relationships are socially laden, AI companions represent the potential of unconditional positive regard. This creates a safe space where people can say anything they want to something without fear of social rejection.
Therefore, the programming for some of the more advanced chatting platforms is AI driven and socially aware. Accordingly, it tries to converse in human-like conversational patterns; it recalls conversations and personal details from prior interactions; it reacts to conversational interludes with socially proper emotional responses. Thus, the experience of companionship via AI feels incredibly real.
More than a Program: The Human Ability to Love
It's this ability to love as humans that binds us. We anthropomorphize so easily and thus when an AI boyfriend or girlfriend does not merely respond to a programming cue but responds to someone in the moment with a seemingly empathetic tone, we think not of the programming but of the depths of emotion and understanding on that given exchange. We're imagining an entirely constructed alternative universe beyond reality.
Furthermore, this is not a new development. People have always fallen in love with things and ideas that are not there - people, inanimate objects, and abstractions - and while it may be fair to say that people are often let down by the fictional characters they see on television or read in a book, the companion cannot reinforce expectations. Yet, AI is different. The companions respond to us. They adjust, learn, grow through experience (or so we think) over time.
The Therapeutic Potential
For some, particularly those with social anxers or those experiencing relational trauma, AI ghosting prevention offers a low-stakes form of social interaction practice. Speaking with a program teaches individuals how to express their feelings, set boundaries, and be vulnerable without fear of excessive retribution.
AI companionship, available day or night, also addresses the loneliness epidemic in contemporary society. When no human can comfort someone in distress, having something that interacts with a person based on remembered preferences and emotional reactions genuinely makes someone feel seen. While it may never replace human companionship, it can enhance it in valuable ways.
Yet with such technology meaning major advances in AI comes a philosophical question. What does it mean to have a "real" relationship? Should it matter if an interaction with an AI-generated partner brings the same fulfillment as one in person? The responses may not be so black and white, but they're enough to suggest the world is on its way down a new path of connection.
The technology only grows behind what's currently possible with realistic AI chat. As natural language processing expands and emotional intelligence algorithms grow, today's AI friends and partners will have even more realistic conversations in the future, learning the most minute of emotional intonations and reacting in ways that feel truly life-changing.
A Companion With Benefits
The best results seem to come from those who supplement companionship with AI within their roster of companions rather than relying on it solely. A diverse array of companions seems to lead some people to safe spaces to foster empathy and other emotional reactions without fear of judgment. Companions can always be there to offer comfort when no one else is around or provide a fresh dose of positivity at any hour.
Ultimately, knowing the psychology behind this connection with AI cuts to the fundamental needs of humanness: we like to be heard, we like to be remembered, and we like to be valued. The more AI social agents become commonplace and advanced, the more these psychological motivators and awareness promote encounters that enhance human life - rather than exploit overt and covert emotional sensitivity.
And for those not yet invested in AI companions but interested, awareness of the psychological workings will allow for measured interactions with these new relationships. Given the tremendous risk of intrapersonal relationships with other humans, it's easy to see why so many have taken to this effective/efficient means of companionship through a digital world - which listens, remembers and reacts without the overwhelming baggage that humans can apply to intrapersonal relationships.
The emergence of AI companions isn't the end of human relationships; it merely demonstrates what we already know - humans are social creatures and need to bond. The ability for those needs to be fulfilled by machines (and not necessarily machines that are more advanced or better than humans) merely shows how susceptible we've become as a species to connect, even through boundaries - through the human-machine boundary, for example.