As leaders, we’re often called upon to make difficult choices—none more personally challenging than the decision to let someone go. It's a moment that tests not just our leadership but our humanity. Each time I’ve faced this situation, it has weighed heavily on me. I’ve struggled with the emotional toll, questioned myself, and taken it personally. And yet, each time, the outcome has been clear: the team grew stronger, the business moved forward, and the overall culture became healthier.
Over time, I’ve come to understand that bold leadership doesn’t mean acting without emotion—but rather, acting with purpose despite the emotion.
1. The Team Comes First
Every individual matters, but the collective health of the team must take priority. If a team member consistently misaligns with core expectations—whether it's performance, collaboration, or cultural fit—it can silently erode morale and momentum. Allowing a misalignment to linger can stall progress, confuse priorities, and breed frustration among those who are fully committed and performing well.
As difficult as it is, a decisive change can reinvigorate a team and unlock the potential that's been held back.
2. The Mistake: Taking It Too Personally
Early in my leadership journey, I took these decisions incredibly personally. I internalized the outcome as a failure on my part—believing I hadn’t coached well enough or supported enough. While that self-reflection was important, I later realized that I was carrying more than I should have. Leadership means offering support and clarity, but it also means accepting that not every match is right—and that doesn’t make it a personal failure.
By making the decision to move on from a misaligned team member, I eventually saw the positive results: improved morale, restored clarity, and regained momentum. In hindsight, those decisions—though painful—were necessary for the greater good.
3. Balancing Empathy and Accountability
Letting someone go is not an act of indifference. It should be done with empathy, transparency, and respect. At the same time, leaders must hold themselves accountable to the team and the mission. Avoiding tough decisions in the name of kindness can backfire, often hurting more people in the long run.
Empathy doesn’t mean avoiding discomfort; it means delivering truth with humanity.
4. Clarity Builds Trust
When a leader delays action, the team feels it. It creates ambiguity around performance expectations and cultural values. On the other hand, when decisions are made with clarity and communicated thoughtfully, it reinforces trust and sets a standard. People want to work in environments where excellence is expected and where leadership acts with integrity.
5. Grow from the Experience
After each of these experiences, I’ve taken time to reflect: Could I have set expectations better? Did I provide the right feedback at the right time? This self-inquiry has helped me evolve as a leader. It has also made me more confident in recognizing that making the hard call is sometimes the most respectful and necessary thing we can do—for everyone involved.
Conclusion
Letting someone go will never be easy—and it shouldn’t be. But as leaders, we must balance compassion with clarity, and empathy with action. I’ve learned—through difficult but necessary decisions—that what feels personal in the moment can ultimately be professional growth for all parties.
When done with care and conviction, these decisions not only protect the integrity of the team but also uphold the values we’re working to build. Leadership isn’t about avoiding the hard calls. It’s about making them—for the right reasons, and in the right way.