I'm loosing my enthusiasm to code.

Publish Date: Mar 10 '20

14 15

Hi dev community! This is my first post here, and I'm excited to be part of this.
I was hoping to start with a better post, but I really need to talk about this topic, I need your advices :)

I just got a new position at work, but I'm less and less enthusiasm to code and I feel bad about it.
It's been some months that I have this feeling, and today I'm kind of scared because I'm young! And by the way, I'm loosing my productivity, and that's really bad.

About me

A little bit of background.

I'm Maxime, a 21 years old, I live in France, and I am some kind of full stack developer. I'm saying "kind of" full stack, because I do a lot of stuff, doing some data analysis, build dashboards, web applications... And that's soooo cool.

I started coding when I was 14 years old. I've started with HTML/CSS and quicky got introduced to PHP and I fall in love. By the time I was in trouble with my personal life, and yeah programming saved me. I found the best therapy: programming, yes I find coding therapeutic.

I've never stoped to work hard by this time, when I was back to school, I was coding. When I was on vacation, the same. I loved that, and thanks to this hard work I've quickly developed my career.

At 18 years old, I got one year apprenticeship contract in a young startup as a front end developer. I was working two weeks and then studying 2 weeks. By the end of the year, I was configuring servers with Ansible, produced NodeJS services and so one, I've got a lof of responsability in little time. Such a great year but it was such a pain. My manager was such an asshole, and I refused to continue there. I was only 19 years old and I refused a permanent position, people thought I was crasy but I wasn't, hard decision to make and support.

After that year, I got a 3 years contract at Airbus as an apprentice software engineer and today I'm still there.
So I'm a computer science student in France working at Airbus, everything is fine isn't it? What could be bad? Nothing on the paper.

The confusing part

I've used to work on side projects after work/school, always. But now, for 6 months I'm not working after work anymore because I don't feel it.
Sometimes I do, but much less than I've used to!
I'm playing video games, watching Netflix series, reach friends and so one, but almost never coding/learning.

I don't know why, I feel guilty for not working that hard anymore, but at the same time I know this is normal because I worked too much I have to take time for myself.

I'm really confused, do anybody already dealt with this feeling, do you have any advice? Such a strange situation...

Thank you so much!
Have a nice day, happy coding.

Comments 15 total

Aleksi KauppilaMar 10, 2020

Hi Maxime, thanks for sharing!

I feel guilty for not working that hard anymore

This seems very common in the industry and it definitely is not good for mental health. Do your friends who don't work in tech train all the time or work on side projects related to their profession?

You still have 40-50 years in the work force so it's crucial to take care of yourself. Relax, focus on things that feed your inspiration. It's a marathon not a sprint.
- Maxime MoreauMar 10, 2020
  
  Hi Aleksi, thanks for reading & your reply.
  
  Do your friends who don't work in tech train all the time or work on side projects related to their profession?
  
  Yeah, you're totally right, outside of tech: no, or just a very few people.
Yavuz TorMar 10, 2020

Taking time to relax is just as important as working hard. You have to maintain a balance. I have experienced burnout a few times in my career, too. They always came after a long period of hard work and not giving myself enough time to relax and enjoy the life, see friends and have fun. I learned the hard way that maintaining the balance is key to staying sharp.

I would say, don't worry too much about it and try to enjoy life while you can. This feeling will pass. When you pick up side gigs, make sure they are worth your effort and leave you enough time to unwind.
Guga CavalieriMar 10, 2020

It's totally normal to take some time for yourself, don't feel guilty.

I used to run a startup and working late was a usual thing for me. Now everyday I get home I try to disconnect myself from my computer and any work.

Take care, do something you like after work and make sure to do something you love at work :)
- Maxime MoreauMar 10, 2020
  
  Thanks for reading & your reply.
  
  I try to disconnect myself from my computer and any work.
  Are you doing things totally disconnected with tech? I suppose :)
  
  For you, what was the sign that told you "yeah, I'm working too much, I have to slow down"?
  - Guga CavalieriMar 11, 2020
    
    Not with tech I guess. I still watch TV or play a game (rarely) just to disconnect my mind a little bit :)
    
    I think the turning point for me was my father pointing out to me that I was working like 12 hours/day for a startup and not getting any money, specially to pay my bills.
𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐝𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐫𝐝Mar 10, 2020

I don't know why, I feel guilty for not working that hard anymore, but at the same time I know this is normal because I worked too much I have to take time for myself.

Don't feel guilty! It's perfectly normal to not code after work :) I don't! I may dabble here and there on personal projects, but like you, I don't do as much as I used to - and that's 100% okay.

It's just as important (maybe even more important) to switch off and relax. You can't be productive 100% of the time if you never allow yourself to reset.
- Maxime MoreauMar 10, 2020
  
  Thanks for your kind reply!
  
  You can't be productive 100% of the time if you never allow yourself to rest.
  
  Yeah I totally agree with you, with our job it's crucial to rest to produce good quality code.
  
  Were you used to work "a lot" on side projects? If it's the case, why did you slow down? :)
  - 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐝𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐫𝐝Mar 10, 2020
    
    Same reason as you - it just naturally slowed down as I was working more at work... especially as I became more senior and the work I was doing became harder and required more thinking.
    - Maxime MoreauMar 11, 2020
      
      Yeah, that's exactly my situation. Thank you for sharing! I think it's just a natural thing as you said :)
Dennis MartinezMar 10, 2020

I've been working in software engineering for over 15 years now, and these same symptoms have happened a couple of times throughout my career.

I noticed that the best way for me to snap out of this guilt-driven cycle is to find something outside of software development to spend time on. Now, that doesn't mean just getting lazy and not doing anything, or spending hours watching TV or Netflix. In my experience, that makes the symptoms a lot worse.

It can be a useful skill that can be useful for your daily life or just something that you've been curious about. For example, I began taking Japanese language lessons during a particularly stressful time at the day job. I had no practical use for it but I had been wanting to try my hand at learning a new spoken language (as opposed to yet another programming language). It really helped me unwind during the evening and weekends.

You also never know what these new skills can bring your way. For instance, learning Japanese triggered a sequence of events that led me to meet my wife and even move to Japan. I never expected that to happen when I began studying the language.

Is there something that you've been wanting to spend more time on that doesn't relate to work? It could be cooking, taking some gym classes, learning something new outside of tech, and so on. You need to give yourself space and permission to step away from what you do on a daily basis. I admit it can be a bit tough, but it's one of the better ways to break free from this cycle.

Best of luck to you!
- Maxime MoreauMar 10, 2020
  
  Thank you for your reply, very valuable!
  
  Now, that doesn't mean just getting lazy and not doing anything, or spending hours watching TV or Netflix. In my experience, that makes the symptoms a lot worse.
  
  This is perfect! Thank you so much... I think I feel guilty because I do nothing, just "chill", but I'm not used to! I will try to find something, I'm learning how to play guitar for some months, and I feel better when I do. I'll do more, I'll read more and so one.
  
  You need to give yourself space and permission to step away from what you do on a daily basis.
  
  Yeah, I suppose I have to disconnect, do various things.
  - Daan WilmerMar 10, 2020
    
    What I (not nearly often enough) try to do is find something that gives me energy. Playing a musical instrument can work indeed, but running or going for a motorbike ride or trying to get epsxe to run also worked. And it could be that, sometimes, coding also works. Just find something that gives you energy and doesn't feel like a chore.
    
    Just remember: after hours = you time. It's in your own best interest to recharge. And, frankly, it's also the company's best interest. If you spent so much time coding and learning that you resent the activity, you're less productive and more error-prone. If you are recharged and ready, you can write more and better code. So don't feel guilty!
BhumiMar 13, 2020

Hi Maxime,
This is such a common feeling within a software career. I've experienced this a number of times within my 15 years. Of feeling like you've hit some plateau, of loosing enthusiasm, of feeling stuck. But it is not permanent. I think you do need to acknowledge it when it happens (I didn't know enough to recognize it early on so kudos to you for noticing this at 21! :), know that you need to step away for a bit to get clarity and then put in the time/energy needed to transition your role something that does bring you some joy.

Coincidentally I wrote this yesterday seeking stories of people who've navigated their career through some transitions - dev.to/bhumi/what-is-your-career-t...
- Maxime MoreauMar 20, 2020
  
  Hi, thanks for your kind reply.
  
  Yeah, I think that having the step back is really important. I feel better thanks to the advices in comments!

Add comment

Maxime Moreau @mx